Scarcity Mindset vs. Abundance Mindset
This is a framework that I got introduced in the last year after reading the works of Joe Hudson and Brene Brown.
The scarcity mindset evokes the worst instinct in ourselves. Things are scarce and I need to win my share of the pie. My share can be anything. If it is work, it might be a promotion or a salary rise. If it is family, I need my external validation, I need approval or acknowledgement from others.
In general, a scarcity mindset puts me on the treadmill to run a race. Similar to the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland, I need to run faster to be in the same place. I need to prove myself, my worth, and my value to others. I find it exhausting. Trying to impress others or chase a goal set by others, is futile. Sometimes the goalposts change due to various influences and factors, that are beyond my control.
Abundance mindset is a liberating one. It truly acknowledges the privileges we are bestowed upon. It makes me count my blessings and truly be grateful for them. If you are reading this article online at this moment, I can assure you that you are in a place where probably 50% of the world’s population wants to be. The privilege of writing one’s thoughts on a paid platform to clarify my thinking and publish it to a group of like-minded people is a blessing. I am just grateful for that. I found one simple hack to unlock the abundance mindset: it is the gratitude exercise.
I have blocked 10 minutes of my time and my wife’s, two times a week, to run this gratitude exercise. We sit together in a room with no distractions. We spend the next 10 mins in saying what we are “thankful” or “grateful” for. It sounded odd and cheesy at first. We ploughed through the first two sessions. We covered topics that seemed very minor, very trivial to thank but it helped.
I still remember it was me who was mildly arm-twisting my wife for the first three sessions to take part in it. But after the three sessions, my wife felt so good, that she started to nudge and remind me to continue this. We take turns in saying what we are thankful for. I will go by saying I am thankful for “a good night sleep I had” and my wife goes next and thank “for the apartment community we live in” and then I go. This happens for 10 mins. We thank about very trivial things to too big things as well. It is one of the best activities we have found in the recent times.
The feeling of connectedness with oneself and your partner after the gratitude exercise is enormous. I never knew such a simple act could have profound impact on my psyche. I started to look at things at home and work in a different manner. There are moments in my day (non-gratitude exercise days), where I try to take 10 or 20 seconds to soak up on the environment and take a snapshot into my memory and be grateful for that.
I had the snapshot-like epiphany in a moment I was talking with my Dad. He is 65 years old and he was passionately talking about some topic. I just got reminded of how many people have had the lucky moment to live with their father in his 60s, who is healthy, active and happy. I found that 10 seconds of realisation to be priceless and I was brimming with joy and gratitude to be in that moment.
Another snapshot moment was with my 8-yo son. He was happily talking about something before falling asleep and making some pranks with my wife. In just a few years, he will grow up to be an adult and may live far away from me, pursuing his dreams. I may be not able to kiss him or smell his hair or get kicked by him because of some wild dreams. It is a very short window of time, where he is an 8-year-old kid with ebullience and wonder. I again found that 10 seconds of realisation that this moment is a priceless and rare one. My body and heart were filled with that cosy feeling of happiness and gratitude.
I didn’t have an app or a phone reminder to be grateful in these two moments. But I believe it happened because of the gratitude practice that I have been doing for the past four weeks. That, in turn, unlocks this abundance mindset. We as an individual have so much to offer and so much in ourselves.