Thoughts About “The Great Indian Kitchen” Movie
I love the Netflix series, The Crown. In the recent season, an episode really stuck with me. Margaret Thatcher is known as the iron lady of U.K. She did many things that people didn’t like, but she was very strong-willed in getting things done. I don’t even know the political nuances of what was wrong with Margaret Thatcher, but that is not my point.
In a scene, Thatcher is having dinner at home with her family. Her husband, her son and her daughter. Thatcher is the prime minister of the UK. But at home, she cooks by herself, and she pampers her son. Her son does ask something in an entitled manner, and she acknowledges it and gets it done. This really pisses off her daughter.
It may be fictional. But that scene is so true, and I have seen it in many families in India. Patriarchy is not enforced only by men. Male chauvinism is not an exclusive territory for men. Many women enforce patriarchy in the family.
(Another scene I was reminded of is from the movie Django Unchained. Samuel Jackson is black, but he enforces slavery. I am digressing.)
I got reminded of all these emotions about patriarchy, male entitlement after watching a fantastic Indian movie, The Great Indian Kitchen. We all are easily lured by the taste of food, its authenticity, and the elaborate processes of preparing Indian food. But this movie shows the insider view of a kitchen and what it takes for a woman to manage it. Not just cooking tasty food. Doing the dishes, managing the kitchen, taking care of household chores. The stench of the food waste, the perennial leaky faucet and a boatload of mini-chores to prepare a meal. It is truly a full-time job for which no credit or salary is being paid. Instead, women become invisible. If the mother-in-law is not there, the wife steps in. If the wife is not available, there is a sister. If she is not there is another woman. In the name of family values, and tradition, the male psyches and patriarchy can crush women’s aspirations and dreams.
I wondered how different I am from a typical Indian male, who pines for a “housewife”, who is submissive and doesn’t question hierarchy. I am truly lucky and fortunate in this aspect. Even during my school days, my mom and dad never shunned involving my brother or me in doing household chores and doing basic cooking to look after ourselves. My mom was a working woman, which was not usual in the middle-class milieu we were brought up. So I have never had an inkling of condescension for household chores or cooking or doing dishes. Maybe it was a blessing I didn’t live in the traditional joint family with our grandparents, uncles and aunts, which always casts women to certain roles and duties. This mentality helped me manage my household when I was living away from my parents for 15 years. I never understood or resonated with the Indian male’s need for “a simple housewife”. I have always been attracted to women with aspirations be it career or being an entrepreneur or being an artist. Someone who doesn’t want to get slotted as a “housewife”.
But watching this movie was like a big punch in the gut. It is a great wake-up call to count my blessings and rethink how I want my son to be when he grows up.
If watching a 90-minute movie can kindle so much of thoughts and discussions and talks with my wife, I call it the best movie of 2021 and a time very well spent.